Saturday, September 10
they're leaving.. - Saturday, September 10, 2005
-song i'm listening to: evanescence - my immortal-msn nick at the moment:
k e l - . dancing B A N A N A s and C O C O N U T s. - kel luvs benji. =) - ``
-events to look forward to: hmm.. jux seeing my besties back in skool.
okies.. my parents are in batam for the dae.. i can go out.. i was planning to go to the airport to study alone..but now tat my sis is out of de hse.. i might as wells jux stay at hm n study till i rot.. blah blah blah..
i'm glad everyone i love dearly has found their own happiness one wae or another.. inclusive of me.. 'spread e joy' is the phrase tat sam would sae.. and tis tym.. i guess tat is true.. =)).. we all found happiness ard e same tym.. and all the waiting was all worth it.. each of us now has a very gd reason to wake up every morning, for hopefully e rest of our lives.. =))
unfortunately i can't end tis entry on such a happy note.. yesterdae i watched someone melt in front of me in tears.. i couldn't do anyting.. i didn't sae anyting.. i jux sat beside her.. listening 2 the words tat touched my heart.. then went to my room.. locked e door.. and cried too.. it really shows how much i tried to ignore e truth.. how much i woke up every morning since tat dae n tried to forget tat it was real..pretended it wasn't gonna happen..
i hate feeling helpless.. as if i can't do anyting to change wad was abt 2 bring me 2 tears in a couple of mths.. xmas has nvr been e same since last yr.. i tot tis yr would be more cheerful.. but instead.. it's even worse.. i'm jux left speechless for the rest of e dae.. i haf 2 bottle such feelings up in hopes of living in futher denial.. e only pple who'd really understand how i feel is my sis.. but i dun wanna trouble her.. n there's no denying tat there has alwaes been a barrier btwn my sis n i.. e barrier separating my sis n i aint tat big as b4.. but still..